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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 17, 2008 15:08:43 GMT -5
She gasped and walked over to him, muttering 'Jesus Christ' as she walked. She knelt beside him, careful not to touch him. She remembered how annoyed and angry he'd gotten because she'd touched him before. She didn't think that touching him now would make anything any better. Jen looked at him, wishing she could brush his hair out of his eyes, or just caress his cheek. She knew better though, and found a way to not do any of it. "I would have rather been here with you then off on some dumb vacation, Sam. I didn't even want to go. What did you need me for, what could I have done then that I couldn't have done when I came back?" She asked, a bewildered look on her face. She knew something had gone wrong when she went away on vacation. He had never told her what, just ruthlessly cut her out of his life. Would he tell her now? She doubted it, he'd probably just brush her off and tell her to leave him alone like always.
"Sorry…" She whispered, concern in her eyes as she watched him. Why couldn't she comfort him? Why was she never good enough, Jesus. She bit her lip, blinking rapidly so she wouldn't cry from frustration. She wanted to comfort him, she wanted to make things better but he wouldn't let her. Why wouldn't she let her get close to him?
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 17, 2008 15:17:28 GMT -5
He heard her ask him those questions but he shook his head staring at her with pain in his eyes not knowing what to say at the moment or do so all he did was stare at her for a rather long time in silence letting his mind go back to that night. Remembering the exact details and everything the stuff that haunted him still to this day even though it could never happen to him again because he vowed to get stronger make people scared of him so they won't mess with him. After it all went though his head again he quickly turned his head away form her closing his eyes muttering things under his breath and swallowing hard. " You couldn't of done anything.." he stated simple at first. " I would of changed anyways.." he sighed a bit. " I blamed you only because I needed someone else to blame other then myself and I needed a friend....he stated still shaking his head and his eyes still closed trying to get the memories out of his head.
He heard her say sorry but he had no idea why she was saying sorry so he kept quiet not saying anything else still shaking his head as if all of his thoughts would leave with just a shake of his head he was really wishing that was true but he knew no matter how long he shook his head and kept his eyes close what happened would never leave his memory no matter how much he wanted it to.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 17, 2008 15:39:07 GMT -5
She watched as he relived memories that she had no part in, and she suddenly felt like an intruder in his life. Maybe he was right about her not fitting into his new world. Maybe she should just walk away and let him continue, on whatever he was doing. It would rip her apart inside to leave him though, and she doubted she could do it, even though she felt so horrible being around him when it was so obvious that she wasn't a part of his life anymore. "Why did you need someone to blame? I would've helped if I could, if you'd let me." She said, wishing he would look at her again. For a few intense moments there he had been staring at her, but she knew he wasn't really looking at her. He had been reliving his past, not looking at her.
She hesitated a moment before reaching out to brush a bit of his hair away. She backed up a little bit after that, incase he decided to lash out at her for touching him. She hoped not, she loved being around him and touching him every now in then, it was almost like she was addicted to him.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 17, 2008 16:05:51 GMT -5
He sat there with his eyes still closed for about another five minutes before he final looked up and glanced at her shaking his head again. He knew he had been doing a lot and it was probable getting on her nerves but he could not seem to help it. When she asked him why he needed someone to blame he shook his head again. " I guess I just didn't want to blame myself so I blamed everyone else and.." he stopped himself. " Nevermind.. can we just drop the subject?" he asked her.
He was already broken down and that was the bad thing he couldn't seem to get back to Scar and start yelling at her without his alcohol and smoking he was lost and just remained well not like himself his new self that was it just made him seem weak and he hated that he was not weak he was never going to be that weak thirteen year old again. So when she had touched him again moving the hair out of his face he had not yelled at her nor pushed her away he didn't have it in him right now. He could tell she was scared of him now as she had moved away that was what he had wanted right? But now he almost regretted it... " You are scared of me.." he stated simple it wasn't in a rude way this time but more as if he regretted being that mean to him he really needed a cigarette right about now.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 17, 2008 16:41:31 GMT -5
She waited for him to talk again, giving him time to get back into control, if that was what he wanted. She really had no idea what he wanted, but she doubted he wanted her to be talkative and chat his ear off when he had just been having a 'moment'. "Sure we can drop it…" She said, offering him a small smile. She hoped he would tell her another time though, maybe when he was a little more comfortable around her. Jen wouldn't push him though, she was beginning to understand him a little bit. A tad bit, true, but that was progress.
Her eyes grew wide when she listened to what he said. Did he sound almost…regretful? She blinked and attempted to get her eyes to calm down. "Yea, a little bit. Isn't that what you wanted?" She winced as soon as the words came out of her mouth. She sounded a little bit snippy there, and she wished she didn't. She wished she could take the words back and have not said them, but she couldn't, they were already out of her mouth. She was terrified of him now, that's what he'd worked for. She was afraid of the new Sam, and she didn't know if she wanted to know him if she was so afraid of him. She just knew that she couldn't stay away, so it didn't seem to matter either way.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 17, 2008 16:53:36 GMT -5
" Thanks.." he had stated simple. He was thankful that she had not been stubborn about that subject. He really did not want to talk about that night because anytime he even thought about what happened it pained him but to talk about it out loud he didn't know how it would feel frankly it scared him to talk about it out loud to admit that what happened to him really happened to him to another person he didn't want anyone else to know. For fear of people thinking he was weak that he let this happen to himself that people could take advantage of him make him to what they want maybe Samual Tylers was that way but Scar Tylers was a much different person and that was the person he wanted to be Scar because that person was strong not weak. Deep down even if Scar would not admit it he did miss being Sam because he had a family that was always there for him and he had Jennifer that was his best friend and he did good in school and he never had to worry about getting in trouble but he was weak and he kept telling himself he rather be disliked and strong then weak and liked.
Scar nodded when she asked that question. " Yeah, thats what I wanted.." he stated simple. He noticed the way she had said it she was mad at him now. He turned a bit and faced her sitting up a bit more from the slouch he had been in sitting against the fountain sort of anyways. " Why are you still talking to me if your scared of me.. most people don't sit around talking to someone there scared of.." he added in.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 17, 2008 17:03:25 GMT -5
She nodded and sighed in an exasperated kind of way, almost like she was tired. She wasn't tired, she was just…well she was a little worn out. Keeping up with Sam was a little exhausting, especially when he was trying to get her to leave at every turn. She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath in and out. Opening her eyes she smiled at him, sort of like a 'I wish we were still cool' smile, though she hoped he didn't really interpret it like it meant. If he did he might blow up and yell and tell her she could wipe that stupid smile off her face. She bit her lip and looked at the ground, wishing she could just act around him, not think. It wasn't any fun to think, cause then you figured out things. Then you understood things, and he'd pinned her on one thing. She liked living in her own world. There no one was hurt, and no one hated anyone.
She shifted when he turned to look at her, always on her guard. A pity really, she had to be on guard with her childhood friend. She didn't think she knew anyone that had the same situation as she did, having to carefully think out everything she said. Worrying when she let something slip. Backing away to avoid him if he hit her because she touched him. Nope, she couldn't think of anyone that had to think so much when they were hanging out with a friend. "I love being with you, Sam. I'm not going anywhere until you make me. Which could be at any minute, darn." She said, laughing softly and smiling ruefully. She was attempting to joke with him, make him not be so miserable right then.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 17, 2008 17:16:49 GMT -5
Scar sat in the mere silence for awhile. He liked the silence it was a place for him to think and get his head around things. He went to stand up but felt something go into his leg. " Shit.." he practical yelled pulling out his knife from his pocket he had stabbed himself with it on accident. He had his lid on the knife but it was broken some what he should of known better then to have his knife in his pocket excpical at school but he was never sure as of to who he would run into and may need it, but he was dumb this morning putting it in his pocket without even thinking the cap could of broke and when he had went to sit up all the knife did was move a bit which freaked him out a bit therefore when he went to grab it out it just caused the knife to cute deeper. " Damn.." he muttered under his breath staring at the knife. Glancing down at his pants he could see the blood but he sort of sat up the best he could and tried to cover it up with his pants.
He knew now that she was probable going to extremely terrified of him now because she probable saw him pull the knife out of his pocket. But he tried to hide it anyways but he really didn't want to place it back in his pocket cutting himself more his pocket wasn't the safest place to put it. Plus he was sure she already knew he had it after he had swore and pulled it out of his pocket. He heard her say something about being with him shaking his head at her. " I don't think your going to want to be with me now.." he stated referring to the knife thinking she may just run out of there now because he has a weapon.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 17, 2008 17:27:58 GMT -5
She looked alarmed, but tried to calm herself down. She wasn't going to yell, he'd already yelled enough today for both of them. She blinked and took a few breaths, trying to rationalize the situation. Of course he would have a knife on him, he was acting as Scar now and Scar struck her as a kind of guy that didn't go anywhere without a weapon. She grimaced when she saw the blood on his pants. That meant he was bleeding quite a bit if she could see it through his pants. She reached back to her stuff and grabbed her jacket and purse. She threw the jacket at him, saying "Cover it up and press down with that." as she did so. She held out her hand, calmly saying "Give me the knife. You can't put it back in your pants now." She added, pointing out the obvious. She would give it back to him, she just didn't trust him to have an uncapped knife in his pants. It had already cut him once, knives didn't discriminate between who they cut. It could, and probably would, cut him again.
"I've handled a weapon myself, I've hung out with people who carry weapons even when I don't like it. I can throw a knife and out shoot my dad. Why would I run away just because you're dumb enough to cut yourself with your knife?" She asked, revealing a bit about herself that some people didn't know about. She had learned self defense and how to handle a knife and gun, but all at her mothers request. Her mom didn't like the idea of her going about the world looking like she did, but she let her as long as she knew how to stop guys from taking any 'liberties' with her. And one thing led to another, so her mom made her learn as much as she could.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 17, 2008 17:38:47 GMT -5
He shook his head at her seeing the jacket. " No, it's going to get all bloody.." he stated handing it back to her. " And blood stains are not easy to get out and I've been hurt worse then this.." he stated and it was the truth not just what had happened to him at the age of thirteen but he had been sliced before in fights and been sent to the Hospital truth be told if Scar was to not have a shirt on there would be bruises and scars of where he had been thrown into walls or cut with a knife. He glanced at his knife picking it up and then glancing at her. " Now your giving me orders?" he said he could not believe she was giving him orders Scar orders know one gave him orders but he didn't have it in him to yell again even when he asked that he didn't really yell it, it was more of a I can't believe your telling me what to do but whatever. He then handed her the knife.
He gave her a strange look when she spoke again about her and weapons. He nodded sort of impressed but tried not to show that he was sure she won't be able to beat him though if they were to get in a fight but he did not plan on getting in a physical fight with her. " Yeah, but that won't help you if you don't have a weapon.. and I'm usual not that dumb" he stated simple.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 17, 2008 17:54:26 GMT -5
She threw him an exasperated look. "I don't give a damn if it stains, that isn't one of my favorite jackets anyways. You know me, I always have enough jackets and shoes and clothes to clothe the world. I don't think sacrificing one jacket will kill me, kay? And apply pressure or I will." She snapped at him, not caring if she came off bossy. She rolled her eyes when he said he'd been hurt worse. "Does this look like a face that cares?" She pointed at her own face for a second and then dropped her hand. "Cause it doesn't. You can have been hurt as bad as you want, a paper cut can still hurt." She pointed out, using an analogy that she'd been told by her mom awhile back in her life. She huffed and pursed her lips. "Yes, I'm ordering you around. If you're gonna cut yourself near me, you're gonna deal with the consequences too. No matter how devious they be." She grinned at the last part, taking the knife when he finally gave it to her. She shoved it in her purse and zipped it up, turning back to him after.
"How do you know I don't have a weapon on me?" She asked, lifting a single eyebrow. "I bet you are dumb, all the time." She muttered, low enough where it could barely reach his ears. She was prepared to back away if he freaked on her, but she really hoped he'd be able to take a joke every now and then. It would suck if she had to give up jokes when she was with him.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 17, 2008 18:17:47 GMT -5
Scar sighed a bit glancing at her shaking his head once again. " I thought we already both knew that we both don't know each other all that well anymore.." he stated looking down at the jacket then back at her. But he still took the jacket and placed it on his leg. " Fine.." he stated with a grumble he really did not trust her at the moment to have her put the jacket on him she was being rather bossy and he really had no idea what she was capable of plus at this exact moment she had his knife. He glanced at her purse where she had put it. When she asked him the question about her face caring he shrugged a bit before answering. " Maybe.." he stated simple. " I didn't really cut myself it was an accident so I shouldn't really have to have any consequences put upon me.." he stated in a matter-of-fact tone.
" Well, now you do because you have my weapon.." he stated simple. " So, I know you do as of right now.." he stated with a slight shrug. " And I'm going to need that back thats the only knife I could manage to get in the school..." he stated he heard her say something about him being dumb all the time and he glared at her. " I heard that.." he stated going to stand up and sort of falling but trying to make it look as if he had meant to do that. " I'm not going to sit around and be criticized by you.." " Thats my job..." he stated. he stated.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 17, 2008 18:40:21 GMT -5
"We used to know each other, and I had stuff then too." She told him in an off hand kind of way, almost like she didn't care that he'd forgotten a lot of shit about her. She cared, but when people knew that you cared, they tended to use it against you. She didn't trust him now, not this new guy that looked like her Sammy but could be anyone. He would have to earn her trust again, and she didn't think he was interested in doing that. She laughed as he grumbled at her, shaking her head as he did so. She was acting like a mom, and it was pretty ridiculous. Was it her fault that she knew what do with knife wounds? Okay, so maybe it was her fault, but that was beside the point. "But you were stupid enough to get cut, so you have to deal with them anyways." She told him, lifting an eyebrow, her expression challenging him to argue with her. He'd lose, if he did try. She could argue anything to death, and anyone stupid enough to get into a fight with her would end up pretty embarrassed.
"I meant other than your weapon." She told him, shaking her head and huffing a breath. "Of course I'll give it back, it's easier for girls to get knives in anyways. I just don't think it'd be smart to give it to you when you've already cut yourself." She added with a roll of her eyes. She laughed when he glared at her, smirking and lifting an eyebrow. He didn't scare her right then, she thought the whole thing was a little amusing. "Glad you heard it, you were supposed to, duh." She said, throwing him a smug look. "Oh, no you're not going to sit around, you're going to fall down and listen to me criticize you. Nice decision." She lifted a hand to her lips, suppressing a laugh.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 17, 2008 18:57:26 GMT -5
Scar shook his head once again then sort of slapped himself in the head he really wished he would just quite shaking his head but he couldn't seem to stop. " Really, we used to know each other?" he asked her putting on a shocked face he knew he was being sort of rude now but he never said he was nice and he was pretty sure by now she already knew that too. " And you had stuff to!?" he asked acting even more shocked. " Really, I thought you just walked around naked all day.." he stated with a smug look on his face. " Dang that would of been cool I would of been the guy that walked around town with the naked girl.. I would of been pretty damn lucky now won't of I?" he said in a form of a question but it really wasn't that smug look on his face never really leaving he was just messing around but he wasn't sure that she would know that and he really didn't much care if she did only sort of actual but that was only because she was Jennifer his best friend from Kindergarten till the 8th grade. " Quite putting me down I do that enough to myself already.." he stated with a short glare when she called him stupid it really didn't bug him all that much but he was supposed to be the only one calling people names not the other way around.
" Yeah, I know what you meant because I'm really not as dumb and stupid as you think I am.." he stated simple. He really could not imagine her with a weapon though but she was kind of surprising him as of the way she was acting right now so he really didn't know what to expect. He heard her last statement which sort of made him mad now granted he deserved being told all this after all he was a jack ass but he didn't like hearing it from her all that well. " I don't have to take your bossiness, rudeness, and whatever else you want to throw at me.. that's my job not yours.." he stated trying to stand up again this time succeeding. " Give me my knife.." he stated with a glare.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 17, 2008 19:26:08 GMT -5
She whacked him on the side of his head. "Shut up!" She snapped, throwing a faux glare at him as she listened to his sarcastic speech. "You would've been lucky, huh? You better be happy that I stick around." She muttered, wishing for a second that he would shut up. She wasn't really annoyed, but it did grate on the nerves when you heard that much sarcasm at once. She rolled her eyes, and resisted the urge to slap him. She could just accidentally place her hand, really hard, on his cut. She bit her lip, not letting herself continue that train of thought. She was not mean, she wasn't vengeful, she didn't think about hurting people. She just wasn't like that. "Sheesh, you'd think you could take a joke every now and then. But noooooo, not Sam. He has to be all rough and tough." She mocked him, not thinking about the fact that she might make him mad.
"I don't really think you're stupid…" She was becoming a little shocked at how he was reacting. She'd just been messing around with him, she thought he knew that. She bit her lip, wondering if she should've backed off. God, she hated having to watch what she said around him. It was like everything she said was horrible. Everything she said seemed to push him away, why couldn't he just relax for one second? Why couldn't he take a fucking joke? Ok, she needed to calm down. But there he went again, standing up, managing it this time, and snapping at her. She stared up at him, blinking for a second. "Sam…What's wrong, I was messing around? Is it my fault I want to help when you get hurt? Is it so bad that I care every now and then?" She asked, not budging and certainly not moving to her purse. She wasn't sure she could give him a knife right now. She didn't know if he was in such a good state to have one. She hoped he didn't go in her purse, the bad thing was she really did have a knife, and she didn't want him to figure that out.
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