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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 13, 2008 16:34:59 GMT -5
She sat on the edge of the fountain, one of her legs dangling down the side. She had a bottle of water in front of her, sitting on the stone across from her. She had a book in between her legs, opened, but unread. She was daydreaming, focusing on random thoughts that ran through her brain. Jennifer was like that, she daydreamed way too much. She sometimes could be talking to someone and zone out, something that continuously annoyed others. Jen really did try to focus on things when she talked to others, the rest of the time she just gave up. She could swear she had ADD but everyone knew otherwise. She had been tested when she was a kid, which no one knew about, and it wasn't that. She just didn't like focusing in on things lately. You focused, you thought about things. Ever since she came back from a three month vacation one summer, she didn't like thinking about things. Ever since her friend abandoned her, she hated thinking about things.
She groaned and lay backwards, carefully keeping her body aligned with the fountain so that she didn't fall off backwards and just be retarded. She closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing as it came into her body and left in a slow procession. Jen did not want to think about Sammy, she refused to think of him as Scar even though it had been at least four years since he'd dropped off the side of the earth. She'd come back and he didn't talk to her. He was different, and not just the way he talked, the group he was in, or how he'd physically changed. It was something internal that she could sense, something had been broken and she had wanted to help. Sammy had pushed her out of his life and she'd never gotten over it. Jennifer wanted her friend back, even if they did run in different circles now.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 13, 2008 16:45:19 GMT -5
Scar had just gotten out of the Principles office finding out that he was still allowed in the school. He was so relived but he was not going to let anyone know that and he was defiantly not going to show it. He sighed a bit as he walked around the schools campus. He just kept thinking of how lucky he was to be able to come back he really didn't know what he would do or where he would go if he wasn't at this school because if he was kicked out he didn't have no home his parents kicked him out telling him until he comes to his senses he was not to be living with them. He walked tot he fountain for some reason he thought it may be a good place for a smoke and to hang out before he goes up to his dorm and sleeps sense he still was allowed to live there even during the summer.
He stopped short at the fountain noticing someone else there not really paying attention or really caring who it was he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up and then inhaled and exhaled a puff. He looked up and noticed that it was Jennifer. But he didn't say anything or do anything he just stayed where he was still smoking because frankly he didn't know what to say or do they never talked anymore or anything like that it had been almost four years sense they actual had a real conversation.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 13, 2008 17:23:35 GMT -5
She coughed and sputtered as soon as the cigarette some attacked her. She sat up straight, her book falling out of her lap, though onto the ground instead of in the water thankfully. "What the hell? Doesn't anyone think of any-" She paused in mid sentence when she turned to see Sam there. She swallowed, picked up her water bottle and took a gulp from it. Washing away the smoke, she told herself. No, her mouth had not gone dry at seeing Sam anywhere near her. No, she did not want to run to him and hug him and beg him to tell her what had happened those years ago. Yes, she did experience all of this whenever she saw him. No, she would not be admitting this to anyone anytime soon. Her heart thudded as she slowly stood up, wishing she'd never gone on that vacation when she was thirteen. Worst decision of her life, apparently. "Sammy?" Her voice squeaked halfway through his name, and it was a question because she was unsure as to whether it really was him. He didn't look anything like his old self, he hadn't and she shouldn't be so surprised by it. But her mind kept conjuring up the innocent thirteen year old she'd left behind. She kept needing to see him like that.
She took a few hesitant steps towards him and then stopped, unsure about going to him. Jen didn't want to make him go away, she'd jump on him and tie him down and force him to talk to her if she had to. She had gone four years without ever talking to him and she was like a starved animal. She wet her lips, her eyes wide with astonishment. She really shouldn't be so surprised to see him, she saw him all the time, but she just saw him around. She never got a moment alone with him. Jennifer needed to talk to him, needed to get some words out of him. She could get hit by a car any given second of her life and never have reconciled with Sam. Though it wouldn't have been from lack of trying.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 13, 2008 17:39:38 GMT -5
Scar glanced up at Jennifer his old best friend the only friend he had but he could not look at her for long no matter how hard he had wanted to talk to her again no that she was there for him he couldn't he blamed her for what happened to him although deep down he knew that it wasn't her fault he only blamed her because he had know one to turn to all summer after what had happened to him but the gym, smoking and alcohol. Of course he had his parents but he couldn't bare to tell his parents he didn't even know if he could of told her but she wasn't there when he needed therefore he gave up on there friendship and changed. He didn't say anything when he heard her call him Sammy, instead he just inhaled some more smoke and exhaled sort of glaring out at no where not having the heart to turn and glare at her. " It's not Sammy.." he said with bitter in his voice. " Scar.. Scar is my name.." he said the same bitterness in his voice staring out to no where still.
He took a short glance over at her noticing that she had stood up now and was sort of coming toward him and in return he took about two steps back away from her, taking yet another inhale of smoke and exhaling some more. He noticed that she had stopped short of walking and he then stared at the ground he did not want to see her face from him stepping back like that he couldn't bare to see her face if she was upset at him for that he hated to see her upset but he hated that she wasn't there for him even if she could of wanted to be she wasn't. He knew it was four years ago but he couldn't get past it now. Half of him wanted to stay mad be mad at someone other then the person he should be mad at and the person he should be mad at was the person that hurt him not Jennifer but he couldn't help himself but to blame her someone other then who really hurt him and the other half just wanted there friendship back.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 13, 2008 18:25:40 GMT -5
Her face expelled hurt when he stepped away from her. He couldn't do that, he wasn't allowed to do that. Jennifer's eyes narrowed when he announced his name was Scar. She would never acknowledge him as Scar. She bit her lip, worry making her pause for a moment to think about what she was about to do. He could push her away, or push her down. But it was annoying her that he wouldn't look at her, if he wouldn't see her. He would feel her. She took the last few quick steps and threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. Jen pressed close to him, inhaling and refusing to step back for a good few seconds. Then she only pulled back slightly, locking eyes with him. She lifted a hand, her palm caressing the side of his cheek. "Your name is not Scar. You are Sammy, that is what I have called you, that is what I will always call you, Sammy." She told him, her face stern and quite obviously annoyed. She did not like him ignoring her presence, even if he did tell her his name was Scar. She didn't count that.
"Why won't you look at me?" She asked him, her tone hurt and soft all at once. She knew better than to be harsh with him, he might walk away from her if she did. She couldn't stand that, not after she got to be near him alone for once in what seemed like forever. She wanted to grill him on why he had ignored her for four years. Why he had joined the dumb ass group and spent the last four years of his life apparently trying to die by the way he seemed to care about his life. She knew better though, and she doubted he would let her get near him again. Couldn't risk that, she wouldn't live through the rest of her life if she had to live without talking to him.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 13, 2008 18:37:16 GMT -5
Scar watched as she had started walking over to him even faster now then before he stepped back a few more steps but they were not fast because that would just look pathetic in his mind anyways. He stopped frozen when she hugged him he didn't know how to react, well, he did the right thing would have just been to hug her back but he was to stubborn to do that so instead he let his hand that had the cigarette in it off to the side of him so he didn't burn her and left his other hand to the side of him. He heard her tell him that his name was Sammy and she won't call him Scar. He shook his head he wanted to yell at her and tell her she had to call him Scar he almost did. But he stopped himself once again stepping away from her and inhaling smoke and exhaling it once again before he spoke he once again did not even look at her. " Why do you think you have the right to call me Sammy?" he asked her. " I don't think you do you should call me Scar just like anyone else would if you don't want to be on my bad side I suggest you stick with Scar.." he was almost threating her but he knew that even if she was to call him Sammy still he would more then likely be upset but won't hurt her or anything.
He simple glanced at her making it sort of look as if he was really looking at her but he wasn't not really he was actual staring at the sky. he wanted to say something as simple as I Can't but didn't let himself and instead he said. " What do you mean... I am right now?" he asked her.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 13, 2008 18:56:16 GMT -5
She glared at him, him and his unlooking ways. "I know I have the right to call you Sammy. I will always have the right until you make up some idiotic reason that I'll listen to as to why I can't call you Sammy." She told him, biting her lip when he completely pulled away from her. No, that was so not fair. She'd gone four years without him. Four years with no shoulder to cry on, four years with no best friend because no one could replace him. Yeah, she did have fake friends, and friends, but no one was as close as Sam had been. So she'd gone through puberty without anyone other than her parents, and what were they worth when she'd had her heart broken for the first time? She'd wanted Sammy then, wanted Sammy when she'd broken her leg. Wanted Sammy when she'd become popular. Wanted and thought of Sammy every second of the day. And whenever she got the nerve to go talk to him, he was surrounded and she lost all the courage she had. Why couldn't he at least be a loner and not hang out with other people? Then at least she could talk to him when she got up the nerve.
She shook the hair out of her face, her eyes glued to his face. How had his face changed so much in just four years. And his eyes, she hadn't gotten to see his eyes in so long. His eyes were old, like someone who'd been in a war. Concern surfaced in her own eyes, and she wished she could make it all go away. That wouldn't be possible if he never let her into his life. Anger mixed with the concern when he was obviously lying to her. Having her eyes focused on his made it so she could see where he was looking, and he was looking past her, at the sky. So when he claimed to be looking at her, she knew better than to believe him. "Jesus, Sammy, why can't you look at me? Am I that hideously ugly that it pains you to look at me now?" She demanded, the anger covering the hurt in her voice so that it didn't waver.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 13, 2008 19:23:40 GMT -5
He turned and looked at her actual looked at her but it was a glare he tempted to want to scare her into stop calling him Sammy he wasen't Sammy anymore he didn't think he could ever go back to Sammy anymore that thirteen year old was gone he was eighteen it was too late for him to be anyone else but Scar. He was Scar for a purpose he was scared and that scar would never go away it would always haunt him. He looked away from her once again taking another inhale of smoke and exhaling it. " I'm not Sammy anymore.. why can't you understand that?" he asked her in a calm voice with no expression what so ever in his face for the time being. " I'm not thirteen anymore I'm Scar now I'm not the good boy I used to be... I don't want to be called something that I am not I am not Sammy I am Scar Tylers.." he stated witha s hort sigh running his hands threw his hair taking another inhale of smoke and exhaling.
Scar couldn't answer her question right away. He knew what would be the right thing to say the true thing to say the thing to say was that it wasen't true she was beautiful but he wasen't going to say that he couldn't say that. " I can't look at you, it's as simple as that" he stated simple. He wanted to say more like it hurts to much four years wasted not seeing each other and talking to each other why would he want to see her now after all those years it would just bring back the good memories before High School happened but then it would remind him of how both of them were not friends no longer.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 13, 2008 20:27:58 GMT -5
Defiance swamped her, pure and strong. She met his glare, leveling him with one of her own. "No. Unacceptable. I adamantly refuse to accept that you aren't Sammy. You are my Sammy, and if I'm the only one that calls you that, then it's fine with me." She told him, her hands on her hips. Jen pursed her lips, angered at the fact that he was spiking her temper. She reached up and forced his head to look at her, wishing she could make him look at her. "You aren't Scar. Scar isn't you. Scar is some idiot that thinks he has to hide in Sammy's body. I'm not letting that whenever I get near you. And you are not going to stop me from getting near you." She told him, her eyes betraying just how steadfast she was on this subject. Just how angered that he thought he could stay away from her for four years.
She frowned, "It isn't simple. I adore looking at you, and I'm tempted to stare at you for a good while seeing as I haven't seen you in four years. You make me feel worthless because you won't even look at me." She told him, wanting to cry and refusing to. Why did she let him create emotions in her when she wanted to be mad at him? She needed fury, not despair. She needed to hate him, not want to cry because he wouldn't look at her. And why wouldn't he look at her? That was a bit odd. They'd been inseparable before her vacation, and now he wouldn't look at her ever again. Did she want to know why? She didn't really know.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 13, 2008 20:45:07 GMT -5
He could tell that she was getting mad with him and she was being rather stubborn she still had not lost that he laughed to himself but it quickly went away as he glanced at her for only a pure second before once again inhaling smoke and exhaling the smoking was the only thing keeping him from exploding and yelling and saying everything that was on his mind. " I'm not your Sammy.." he stated simple at first. " I am no ones Sammy for that matter I am no ones Scar I belong to no one.." he paused a bit. " Why do you even want to call me Sammy so bad?" he asked her. " Why is it so important that you call me that a name is a name nothing else.." he stated although it was a lie Samual Jackson Tyler's the third refereed to him being named after his father Sammy was her name for him when he was a boy having fun no worries some people even had called him Sam a even short name that anyone almost used and then now there was Scar the name that was him he was scared for life and it would never go away.
She had turned his head touching him for the third time so once again he stepped away from him the touch from her just made him feel like he was about to break down or something he wanted to break down but he wasn't going to. " Don't touch me.." he added in a stern voice glaring out at the sky. He heard her talk again about him not looking at her. He sighed taking a rather long inhale of smoke and coughing a bit before exhaling taking in a bit too much. He sucked up his pride and looked at her really looked at her. He felt like breaking down right there and it took all his might not to he just simple stared at her with a odd expression on his face. That could probable not be easily read.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 13, 2008 21:39:28 GMT -5
Her voice broke as she shook her head saying, "No, your wrong. You are my Sammy. No matter what, you will always be my Sammy." She said, biting the inside of her cheek to keep the tears from welling up. She could almost feel them burning behind her eyes. At least they weren't seeable yet. Breaking down in front of this man. This guy that looked like Sammy but she had no idea who was, he might do anything if she cried. He could laugh, he could smirk and call her a baby, he could walk away. One thing she knew he wouldn't do was comfort her. He was right about something, he wasn't the same Samuel that she'd left behind one summer. The one she'd come back to was totally different. It almost made her break down, knowing that if she did break down he wouldn't comfort her. He wouldn't wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything would be okay, that he forgave her for whatever she'd accidentally done. She inhaled and straightened her back a little bit. She really needed to stop thinking about what could've been if he hadn't changed over the summer. And she absolutely needed to stop thinking about what had been before he'd changed. "A name is everything, it's a defining thing. The Sammy that's inside of you, he knows that. He knows that he misses me. He knows he doesn't like this new lifestyle. And he knows that Scar doesn't exist. He knows me, and he doesn't like the way Scar treats me." She told him, swallowing and letting her pain show on her face.
She almost slapped him for moving away from her. Almost. Had he not turned to look at her after snapping at her, he would've gotten slapped about fifty times. She wanted to yell at him and hurt him like he was hurting her. Did he know that it felt to her like he held a knife inside her ribcage and was slowly turning it around? 'Cause it did, it felt like that and so much more. Her heart was actually hurting because of him. She could feel the pain in her chest. She reached out and ran her hand through his hair, down his cheek, over his lips. "I'll touch you if I want to." She told him, lifting an eyebrow. He did not control her, and he could move away all he wanted, if he wanted to get slapped. She would touch him all she wanted, and she wanted to touch him. She wanted to hug him and be held by him and told that he wasn't going to hate her anymore. Jennifer could feel the tears welling up now. They glistened just at the brim of her eyes, threatening to spill. She bit the inside of her cheek hard, so much so that she tasted the metallic taste of blood. She didn't even wince, just tried to stop the tears.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 14, 2008 9:38:31 GMT -5
Scar was about to lose it as she kept saying over and over again that he was still going to be Sammy to her and this time the cigarette was not going to help him he tried to make it help him by once again taking another inhale of smoke and a bit too much once again and started to cough some of the smoke out dropping the cigarette on the ground. He looked at her with a glare on his face squishing the cigarette. Then he let out a short scream. He had already lost it. He clenched his fists and walked away from her with out saying a word walking over to the schools building and punching it making his knuckles crack and start to bleed. He didn't care this pain was nothing compared to everything else, he just had to get his frustration gone and that was the only thing he could think of. He was half tempted to really walk away now but instead he took a deep breath and walked back over to her. " Happy now.. happy you final got me to crack?" he asked her with the same glare on his face. " Why the hell do you want to call me Sammy so bad I don't get why Scar is such a big deal to you.. your just getting me mad and you don't want to get me mad I don't care who you are I'm not afraid to hurt you.." he stated. The same glare on his face as he spoke his voice was getting higher now. Who knew the name Sammy could get him so mad but it was more then just the name but he won't admit that to himself. He also knew he won't hurt her but he hoped she didn't know that though. Well, physical hurt her anyways.
He felt her hands touch him again but he wasn't going to let himself break down in tears the only way he broke down was in a fit full of rage and hitting and he had already done that and he did not want to do that again his knuckles would just all break and he was really not in the mood to visit the doctors. He grabbed her hand away from him holding it to keep it away from his face. He wanted to glare at her but he couldn't this time he just had a hurt expression on his face at the next words he spoke to her. " Stop.." he stated simple at first then added in a " Please.. just stop.." staring at the ground now still having a hold of her hand to try and make her stop touching him. |
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 14, 2008 10:58:59 GMT -5
She gasped, her tears blurring her eyesight. Not enough to make it so she couldn't see the blood on his hand. She hastily swiped at her eyes, making it so she could see clearly again. "Why would I be happy that you hurt yourself?" She shook her head, reaching out to take his hand. "Geez, I didn't know you liked it rough." She teased him, attempting to smile a little bit, trying to lighten the mood. She sighed and rolled her eyes, he refused to understand how important it was to her that he always remained Sammy. Sammy was the boy who had understood her no matter what. Sammy was the boy who had felt her pain no matter what. Sammy was the boy that she needed more than breath, and he'd stolen himself from her. Taken himself out of her life and refused to re-enter it. It wasn't fair, she needed him and he seemed to be able to ignore it. He didn't seem to need her, and that annoyed her. How could he not need her, when she couldn't live without him. "Because, Sammy is the guy I need. Scar….Scar isn't anything to me. If anything he's as good as a murderer, seeing as he took Sammy from me." She said, looking around to see if she had a cloth or anything with her to help his hand. "And you wouldn't hurt me. You couldn't." She added, though she didn't know if she believed it herself. Could he hurt her? She actually believed it was a possibility. She didn't know if he would spare her. Jen was suddenly glad that she knew self defense, and that she knew how to block and run. She was prepared if he brought his fists against her, though it would hurt more inside that he would be able to.
She stomped her foot a bit impatiently, trying to yank her hand free from his. He was stomping her from touching him and she was annoyed because of that. She needed to touch him to make sure that he was real, that she wasn't dreaming all of this. At least she could feel his hand on her, that at least told her that he was real for now. She bit her lip, telling herself that she was behaving childishly, that she needed to act more mature if she intended to be around him at all. He was old inside, an old soul living in a young body. A sad thing too, she remembered when his soul had been young. Those were the good days. He was more mature than her now, he had grown old over the summer and she had matured at a regular rate. It annoyed her to no end that he be older than her by a year at least, but now he was older than her in what really counted. Maturity. She winced at his words, knowing that she couldn't do what he asked. "How do I know you're real if I can't touch you?" She whispered, not looking at him, her face turned to the ground. Damn him, he had her turning away from him, just like she'd been yelling at him for not looking at her. She hated him for that, for showing her that she did have a weakness when it came to him.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 14, 2008 11:24:19 GMT -5
He saw know that he had made her cry. He sighed a bit rubbing the back of his neck not knowing what to do, well he did but he wasn't going to do that. He half wanted to just hug her and tell her sorry for him being so rude to her but the other half won't let him do that the other half just told him to act as if he had noticed that she had been crying. He stared down at the ground now not being able to look at her anymore not even a glance now. He was staring at the cigarette that was on the ground. He heard her question and he really didn't know how to answer that or if he was even supposed to answer that question. Why would she be happy about him hurting himself? He really didn't know so he choice to act as if that question was never asked. He almost laughed when he heard her next statement but stopped himself he wasn't going to laugh he wasn't going to smile he simple continued to not say a word because he could only think of things to say that were more friendly then that were not. He couldn't think of anything to say that would come out nasty so he choice to not speak it was just as bad. Scar shook his head hearing her talking about Sammy. " I don't know what I am supposed to say anymore.." he stated simple he was lost she just did not want to give up that he was not Sammy. " Or do.." he added in. " To make you see that I will never be Sammy again.." he knew he could hurt her but he wasn't going to he couldn't.
Scar let go of her hand now stepping away from her now hoping that she would just not touch him again. " I am real... you have already touched me enough to prove that to yourself and I'm talking to you this is me I was Samual Tylers but now I'm Scar Tylers I've changes and your just going to have to get used to that.. that me and you were not friends anymore your the smart, pretty popular preppy girl and I'm the smoking, drinking bad boy and well that about sums it up.." he stated really not knowing what else to say after that. |
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 14, 2008 11:44:34 GMT -5
His silence was rattling her nerves more than his annoying, sardonic comments. Why couldn't he just say something, even something bad? She twisted her head so that she could see his face for a few seconds. She stared at his eyes, not his face. Yes, there it was. For a second she could almost swear there had been a glimmer of laughter in his eyes, but it was gone in the next second. Damn, why wouldn't he be himself for just the time that they were together? She furrowed her brow, wishing that he would let himself go for a minute. One minute, that's all she wanted. She wanted one, fuckin' minute where he was normal; one minute where he let himself be her friend again. "You can't do anything, you can't say anything. I know that you're Sammy, no matter what. Some day….some day when you don't expect it, I'll make you realize that you really are Sammy. I just need to figure out how." The last part was whispered, she didn't know how to make him realize who he was. She lifted a hand and tossed a bit of her hair behind her shoulder, swiping it away from her. She knew she would do it too, she never failed at what she set out to do, no matter how big the project was.
She almost cried out when he let go of her, even though that's what she'd been aiming at making him do. She'd just forgotten how good it felt to be touched by him, how normal and at peace she felt whenever she had him near her. She smiled for a second, remembering how when she'd had a fight with her mom she'd run to him so that she could feel better. "I've dreamt you up a thousand times, how do I know this isn't another nightmare? How do I know you won't vanish, and I'll wake up feeling empty again?" She asked him, her voice soft, revealing how he'd hurt her so much just by leaving her. "No, that doesn't sum it up. You're the boy that I love like a brother, and I'm the girl that you put up with because you know she'll die without you. Inside is what counts, not this fake image we give while we're at high school. And I hate the image you're giving. I could even hate you." She bit her lip, careful not to draw blood again.
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