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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 14, 2008 12:00:05 GMT -5
Scar continued to shake his head at her. He once again sighed glancing at her for a fraction of a second hearing what she had said. " It's impossiable.." he stated simple at first. " Your not going to find a way to get me to be Sammy for you again Sammy is gone forever, Scar is here to stay I am Scar I am not Sammy.. cant you just get that threw your head.." he asked her.
He didn't know what had made him react this way but he had, he wished he hadn't now though because that was a part of the old him hugging someone but he couldn't think of any other way to prove to her he was really there. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her in a sort hug but it was sort of awkward he was barley hugging her because he had not hugged someone in a long time he almost thought he had forgotten how to hug or even be nice to someone it didn't last long as he stepped away from her looking down at her. " I'm here and this is real and thats the only way I can prove to you I am here.. I don't know what else to say.." he stated still looking at her. He sighed frustrated with himself he had just hugged her and been sort of nice he didn't want that he wanted to be mean and yell at her but he didn't have enough of a heart to actual do that to her with all the two had been threw together in the past.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 14, 2008 12:21:38 GMT -5
She pursed her lips, refusing to believe it. Sammy was in there somewhere, screaming to be let out. She wanted to cry again because he wouldn't do anything on his own to be Sammy again. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a second and opened them again when she had control of herself once more. "It isn't impossible, I won't let it be. Remember me? I don't fail at anything I set out to do. And my hearts in this, so it's that much more important." She told him, a weak smile on her lips, a façade of what she used to do when he was around. "I don't let lies get into my head, it doesn't happen, sorry." She added, and for the first time in a long time, a teasing smirk played on her lips.
Jennifer gasped when he hugged her, happiness flooding inside of her at the second they made contact. No matter how awkward it was because he wasn't used to hugging, it was one of the best hugs she'd had in a while, because he'd done it on his own. She clung to him until he let go, and then she pulled away willingly, not wanting to push her luck. "Alright, so you're here. I'm pretty sure my imagination can't bring up all these details about you. Like your eyes, whenever I dreamt about you, you always had them hidden. Never got to see them once." She smiled softly, recalling some of the dreams that hadn't been nightmares. She wished it didn't pain him so much just to be nice to her, and she almost let him go away and forget about her. Jen was just way too selfish to be that nice to him. Someday, if it all turned out to be hopeless and he ended up happy this way, yea, she could let him go then. "Sam-" She broke off, furrowing her brow. He'd been nice to her. Maybe she could be nice too… "S-Scar…" She tested it out on her lips, a shudder running down her spine as she said it. "Don't block me out too much anymore, ok? I miss you way too much. My nightmares aren't enough for me, I need to talk to you every now and then. And buster, if you do block me out, I will find you and talk to you and call you Sammy in front of all your friends." She threatened him, lifting an eyebrow as she crossed her arms over her chest. She meant every word of it too.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 14, 2008 20:15:16 GMT -5
Scar sighed a bit taking another cigarette out of his pocket and his lighter making it light up taking an inhale and then exhaling it was the only thing that was going to keep him calm as of know anyways. He really wished he had beer right now and he knew more then likely after this conversation was over he was probable going to go out and get himself a beer probable an illegal way but he knew he was going to need it. Well, he didn't need it but his mind kept telling him that it did anyways. " Well, I seemed to have forgot who you were through these four years.. and I would have thought you would have forgotten me by now too" he stated staring the eyes knowing for a fact that he was not going to be able to look at her after he had said that he knew those were hurtful words and they were also a lie he had never forgot about her at all when he saw her walking down the hall with her other friends he had always wished it was him walking and talking to her but he won't let himself be that person a friend to her again no matter how much he wanted to be his brain won't let him and his brain had to much power over his heart. " I guess you don't let truth get to your head eithier.." he stated simple. " You must only believe what you want to believe..." he still had not look at her but instead took another inhale of his smoke and exhaled because all the stuff he was saying to her was not very friendly and he couldn't bare to see her hurt after what he had just said to her.
Scar sort of glared off into space now as he heard her almost threaten to call him Sammy in front of the people he hung out with now he continued to shake his head now. He had been nice hugging her and he regretted that now he wish he hadn't. It showed some weakness now of hi, and it must of made her think they were going to be ok now and she could mess around with him it wasn't that simple. Although he was glad she had called him Scar that was all. " Did you just threaten me?" he asked her with no expression on his face staring at the ground again.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 15, 2008 21:00:13 GMT -5
Her fingers itched for a second when he took out yet another cigarette. She hates smoking, drinking, and anything that made her mind any less aware than it already was. She needed all the brain cells she had, what few there really were. Jen closed her eyes for a millisecond and took a deep breath, not wanting to act on instinct, which was urging her to yank the cigarette out of his mouth and stomp it out on the ground. She was pretty sure that he wouldn't like her any more if she did that. She opened her eyes wide when she heard what he said, those same eyes flashing with unmistakable anger. She slapped him with her open palm, hard. "Don't ever talk to me like that." She snapped, glaring at him. How dare he insinuate that he could forget her, or that she could forget his face? Forget the boy that she had always turned to? Never! He'd gone off the deep end, that was for sure. She was almost shaking with fury at his words, he kept adding insult to injury. Word after word that he said was like rubbing vinegar in a wound. Didn't he care about her feelings at all? Apparently not, maybe he was right, maybe he had forgotten her. "Would you shut up and put that cigarette out? I don't want to die from second hand smoke, nor do I want to listen to you insult me second after second. Jesus!" She was seconds away from actually snatching that cigarette out of his mouth, no matter what the consequences were.
She noticed the change in him and she just rolled her eyes and huffed her breath. "Yes I did, got a problem? I wasn't messing, nor was I teasing." She added, lifting an eyebrow. He might think she was kidding around now all of a sudden but she wasn't. She meant every word she said, and she wasn't idiotic enough to tease him overly much when they'd just started talking again. She didn't have a wish for him to leave her again, if anything she needed him more than he did her. She had to keep him around, she'd do anything to keep him near her.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 16, 2008 9:53:55 GMT -5
Scar had not been expecting her to hit him well he figured she probable would have wanted to but he did not think she would have actual acted on that. He lifted up his hand and felt his cheek not looking at her he couldn't no matter how much he wanted to he just couldn't He had been in much pain before fights and hang overs from drinking but this was the worst pain he had ever felt just because it was a blow from her. He knew he deserved it he just didn't expect it to really happen. He knew this was probable not the worst pain he could have been in because that night was what was the worst pain but this was now pretty close to it. He had a look of pain in his eyes when he let his hand fall from his face looking up at her now hearing her words. " I can talk to you however I want.." he stated simple at first wanting it to come out as rude as possible but his voice was sort of weak as he spoke this but he had hoped she had not noticed the pain in his voice as he spoke now. " What are you going to do about it hit me again.. well go ahead.." he stated turning the other cheek toward her that she had not hit waiting for her to hit him again closing his eyes. He glanced at the cigarette in his mouth he almost was half tempted to go up to her and blow smoke in her face but he didn't he wasn't going to do that to her no matter how much he wanted to right now. " If you don't like it leave.." he stated simple. Taking another inhale of smoke and exhaling it.
He glared at the sky hearing her next words walking over to her looking down at her he was only inches from her face now an attempt to scare her with a short glare still on his face shaking his head at her. " And what makes you think you can threaten me all of a sudden?" he asked her.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 16, 2008 11:29:44 GMT -5
She saw the pain in his eyes, watched how he slowly lifted a hand to his cheek. Jen regretted hitting him, she hadn't thought about it. She hadn't meant to really hit him, she had just wanted to make him shut up for a second. When she heard his voice she wanted to melt into the ground and have never done anything like that again. "I-I'm sorry…I wasn't thinking about it. I didn't…I wasn't….Sorry." She muttered, staring at the ground. She couldn't believe she'd done that. For a second she'd thought she'd imagined doing it, and then she'd felt his skin with her hand. She had a thunderstruck look on her face, swallowing and taking a breath. The pain in his eyes, in his voice, the mark on his cheek. She wanted to die. She reached for his cheek, the one she'd hit, and then pulled back without having touched him. She'd thought better of it just before she'd touched him. He hadn't liked it before she'd hit him, he would hate it after she'd hit him. God, she was an idiot. "I'm not leaving, sorry. Please…I really didn't mean to…" She said, biting her lip and wishing she had her fury back. He had drained every last inch of it out of her, all of it with the look in his eyes. As if she could still hurt him…
Jen back up a couple thousand steps, her eyes wide. Shit…. She thought, her eyes wide. Then she took a deep breath and stood tall, wishing she hadn't backed up. He'd scared her for a millisecond, and she wasn't going to let it last. "Because you wouldn't hurt me if you wanted to. And because you don't scare me." She added, pursing her lips and lifting an eyebrow.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 16, 2008 12:35:36 GMT -5
Scar glanced at her when she started to apologizes. " It's fine.." he stated simple. " Your pretty weak anyways.." he stated simple with a thingyy grin on his face. Although it had hurt him more so mental then physical he would not admit that although he was pretty sure by the way he had looked after she had hit him it was a pretty big give away that she really had hurt him anyways. " Then I guess your just going to have to deal with me smoking now aren't you?" he asked although it wasn't really a question. He sighed a bit before taking one last inhale of smoke and exhaling he then dropped the cigarette on the ground squishing it and then glancing at her. " Happy?" he asked her simple it was a bit rude but that was the only way he could think of dropping it because she had asked him to with out making it seem he was doing her a favor and really listening to her.
Scar noticed that she had stepped back but after she tried to act like she was not scared of him but he could tell she was scared now maybe not a lot but some what the stepping back was a big give away. He shook his head at her staying in the same place looking down at her slightly turning his head when he spoke up again. " Are you sure about that?" he asked her simple it could refer to both of her statements now.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 16, 2008 15:45:16 GMT -5
She breathed a sigh of relief when he said it was fine, a small, tentative grin appearing on her face. Jen almost keeled over when he grinned, shock appearing in her eyes for a second there. She bit her lip, wishing he would grin more. But no, she had to settle for completely random moments when he smiled. "Hey, I am not that weak! I'll have you know…I umm…I uhh…Ok so I am a little weak, big deal." She said, holding back a laugh. Laughing probably wouldn't be good. Okay, so she had no idea what would be good and what wouldn't. Laughing could ease up the mood, or it could make him snap back into Scar mode. She couldn't hold back a smile, which she kept small. She wished it didn't take so much effort just to hang out with him for a couple of minutes. She was seconds away from grumbling something about how he was killing her every time he took a drag on that thing…but she didn't say anything about it. He put the thing out and all she did was swallow hard. She blinked, looked at the ground and then back at him. "Thanks…" She mumbled not looking at him for a few seconds. She didn't want to put him on the spot about how he'd done it for her or anything. She wasn't an idiot about a few things, and her social life was one thing she wasn't an idiot about. She understood body language, even though she hadn't been listening all that well with him. She knew he didn't want her to be all over the edge about it…else he wouldn't have snapped a single word at her.
Jen watched him shake his head at her and she frowned only slightly, barely visible. Arrogance, much? She thought to herself, restraining the urge to roll her eyes. She hated arrogance, it annoyed her to know end. Sure, he might have her pegged. True, she was afraid of him right then, but he was so not allowed to take advantage of that. He sure as hell wasn't allowed to be arrogant about it. "Positive." She said, using all her will power to keep the quaver out of her voice.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 16, 2008 19:53:50 GMT -5
Scar had put back on a short grin as he heard her stutter through her words of how she was not weak. He nodded his head with her as if he was agreeing with her but he really wasn't because as soon as she couldn't think of anything she gave up he was pretty sure the whole I am strong thing would not last long for she was not going to be able to think of anything that had made her strong. Although he could have thought of a few he just wasn't going to tell her that. " Yeah. I thought so.." he stated simple shaking his head at her. Realizing after awhile that the grin was still on his face he quickly changed it to still shaking his head at her with a frown on his face. He heard her say a thanks but didn't say anything more on the subject he wasn't about to say your welcome or no problem or anything like that to nice of comments and meaning he was well mannered and that was just something he wasn't anymore. He could have thought of some pretty rude things to say right there but didn't act on those either.
Scar once again shook his head at her really having wished she would just admit she was scared because he really didn't know what else to say when all she said was positive although he had expected that much from her anyways. He gave her a glare. " Well, you should be.." he stated simple at first wondering what else to do but the only thing he could think of was to push her or hit her but he wasn't going to do that well he was sort of off his back about this whole her being scared of hianyways. He took his hand and lightly pushed her not enough to hurt her though basically he just touched her but he was kind of hoping she would think that meant to back off because I will hurt you and for her not to know that was really just something to keep her m and that he would really not hurt her and that little push just proved it.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 16, 2008 22:18:58 GMT -5
She pretended to do a shocked little draw drop face, then crossed her arms, sniffed, and looked away from him. "You just have to be so mean to me, huh? I can't believe it. You actually think I'm…weak." She said, pulling off the whole, shocked prep look. She grinned and dropped the act, shrugging her shoulders. "So what if I am weak, that means I get to have more fun…not being…strong…I guess." Jen ended it kind of lamely, but she didn't really care. She was having a little fun, who cared if it included a little self bashing to get him to be natural? Sure, other people might, but she was a little desperate around him. She wanted him to be normal, and the sad thing was, she was willing to bash herself to get him into that state. The grin on her face reappeared when she realized just how long he had smiled at her, and then frowned, sure. But he had smiled for a while, and that was the big idea there. Maybe he had been shaking his head at her for the same amount of time he had been smiling…but who was she to be picky?
"But I'm not- HEY! Don't shove me!" She said, furrowing her brow and rubbing the area where he had slightly pushed her. True, he hadn't shoved her hard, it probably couldn't even be called a shove at all. But she was annoyed he'd done anything at all. She huffed and rolled her eyes, although she did keep an eye on him. He was not going to catch her unaware, that was for sure. She had let him shove her, sure that was what she'd tell anyone that asked. Jennifer crossed her arms below her chest, refusing to look at him now.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 17, 2008 7:38:22 GMT -5
Scar shook his head once again because he really had no idea what other movements to do to keep to himself from going soft and looking weak although it had already been shown that he was soft a few times. " You already admitted you were weak.." he stated simple at first. " So basically I was just agreeing with you although yes I have to be mean to you it's in my nature.." he stated with a short shrug of his shoulders now. He was really needing a cigarette now so he had started rocking back and fourth with out his cigarette he felt as if he was going to explode eithier with angry or loose his so called cool. He sighed a bit then glanced at her glaring at her although he was pretty sure this time she would have no idea why he was glaring at her.
" Oh but you are.." he stated. He could tell she was even surprised that he had pushed her he told her not to mess with him and she still did. " And that wasn't even hard quite your complaining you want it to be hard?" he asked her. He noticed her not looking at him now and rubbed the back of his neck. " Aww.. come on I'm sorry don't be mad.." he had not realized the last comment he said till after the fact his eyes went wide and he stepped away from her. Hoping she had not heard that although he had a feeling she might have because it wasn't all that quiet of a voice. " Oh come on quiet being such a baby.." he said shaking his head acting as if he never said the comment before.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 17, 2008 10:58:54 GMT -5
Jennifer listened to him, his shaking his head as he spoke annoying her to no end. She really had no right to complain, he'd already put the cigarette out for her. She couldn't rightly ask for him to stop doing another thing that he probably just did by nature. "I admitted I was weak so you would feel good about yourself." She said, huffing and shaking her own head. She tilted her head to the side, biting her lip and narrowing her eyes. He was rocking back and forth and glaring at her and it was starting to freak her out. "Hey, are you ok? And what the hell did I do, why are you glaring at me…" She asked, blinking one or two times and thinking that maybe she should just back away a little bit.
She rolled her eyes when he started talking again. She was not scared. She was…freaked out. Terrified, a little bit. Decidedly not scared. "You have such a way with words, don't you? 'You want it hard.' Such an apology." She said, though she wasn't even that mad. She wasn't mad at all, to tell the truth. She was just enjoying playing the annoyed friend part. That is, she was having fun until she heard him actually apologize. She gaped for a second, then shut her mouth, blinked, and took a deep breath. She was ecstatic, she'd gotten him to back down for a second or two there, even if he had called her a baby almost immediately afterwards. If he wanted to ignore the fact that he cared whether or not she was mad, then fine. She'd ignore that he cared, and she wouldn't quit her act. "I am not being a baby. I'm weak, remember? You could have injured me!" She put emphasis on the word 'injured' raising a hand to press against her chest at the same time.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 17, 2008 14:23:19 GMT -5
Scar gave her an awkward look when she had said she only said she was weak because it would make him feel good. " Why would that make me feel good about myself?" he asked her. " Because it really doesn't I'm never going to feel good about myself again.." he added in truthfully still rocking back and fourth really needing his cigarette then he remembered he had gum in his pocket maybe that would help him just for now anyways. He reached in his pocket and grabbed his gum pack and throwing it in his mouth chewing it was sort of helping but not really he just kept telling himself after this encounter he could go and get a beer and smoke. That was the only thing that was making him sane right now was thinking of what he could do after this conversation. He sort of sneered at her next few questions. Then laughed a bit but it wasn't a ha ha that's funny type of laugh it was more of a rude laugh. " Am I Ok?" he repeated her. " Why would you care?" he threw back a question at her. " And I can glare at you all I want.." he stated simple glaring at her again.
He glanced at her as she spoke again but she was just confusing him he rubbed the back of his neck still glancing at her not knowing what to say at the moment and all that came out of his mouth was a " Huh?" with a strange confused look on his face. " Maybe that was the goal.." he stated simple when she had claimed she wasn't a baby and he could of injured her.
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Post by Jennifer Boykin on Jun 17, 2008 14:43:49 GMT -5
He just couldn't stay in one mood to save his life it seemed. She joked, he joked, she joked, he snarled. What was it about her that made him be so random? She really needed to figure it out. Jen was certain that he wasn't a bit as random with his friends, if they were his friends, as he was with her. "I was joking, sheesh." She muttered, rubbing her forearm, a habit she had when she was nervous. "Wha-…What are you talking about?" She asked, her eyes snapping to look him in the eye. Shock and confusion were in hers and she couldn't seem to figure out how to control herself enough to look away and compose herself again. She stumbled backwards, blinking and letting her eyes go wide. Why was he acting so weird out of no where? He was sneering and glaring and laughing at her, not laughing in a good way, but laughing in a way that made it obvious he was mocking her. "Sam…I care because your like a brother to me and I love you like one. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't glare at me, especially when you won't even tell me what I've done." She threw back at him, wondering what had gotten into him.
She bit her lip and watched as he once again rubbed the back of his neck. Did he do that when he was nervous, or uncomfortable? Was she making him uncomfortable? Well that wasn't much of a question, she knew that she was probably making things awful for him right then. "If you wanted to hurt me you would've tried harder. And you would've succeeded." She said, looking past him. Her head was turned towards him, and if she shifted her gaze a bit than she would be looking at him again. But she just didn't want to look at him right then. He was being so mean and hateful it hurt her to look at him, to look and realize that he might not care about her anymore.
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Post by Scar Tylers on Jun 17, 2008 14:53:06 GMT -5
Scar felt as if he should scream and just break down he really wanted to just walk away actual more so run away but he was telling himself not to do that and he wasn't going to not yet anyways. He didn't know why he was feeling like this about ready to burst but he was maybe it was because he was talking to her again he didn't know all he knew was he wanted to scream. So he turned away from her and screamed as loud as he could falling to the ground and sitting down on the ground not caring what she thought at the moment. He almost wanted to punch something again but if he was to do that he was certain his hand would just break and he really didn't want that to happen again. He glanced up at her now shaking his head before he final spoke up which was like five minutes later. " You were not there when I needed you the most you were out having fun and I was stuck in this dump hole working and changing and you weren't here!" he stated staring at the ground staying where he was barley moving now but his voice was as calm as ever as he had spoke those words.
He sighed shaking his head again he couldn't keep up his act much longer of the bad ass no matter how much he wanted to right now he was already breaking just being here with her he felt like he was going to go into some mental break down soon. So all he simple said to that comment well putting his head in his hands was a simple. " Yeah, whatever.."
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